New Chapter

Why is it every time I think of my baby the people that hurt me during pregnancy always tag along. I have built so much hatred for everyone who knew how unhappy I was and how physically and emotionally tiered I had been during my 9 months pregnancy with Nazmi.
They say its not good to hold grudges, but how do I let them go if those people aren’t making it easy for me?
I know that it was fate losing my angel but it wasn’t fate having to live with the people that think less of me. There are many sides to my story and many reasons for why my babies stillbirth took place. My health was fine, unfortunately towards the end of my pregnancy I was in the stage of starting preeclampsia. It was way to soon to be able to affect my angel. My body physically however was exhausted and even though the people I lived with saw and new it they still took advantage of me and they still expected me to do and carry things I shouldn’t have. My emotions were all off board. Towards the end, I could hardly handle the people I loved because they weren’t helping me and they left me hanging. STRESS was the big issue for me during pregnancy. I can strongly say that I was 90% stressed every moment through it.
I cant however keep blaming myself and I know that doing that isn’t going to help me settle. I have decided however to begin a new chapter in my life. To fight for what makes me happy, to think of my life and the children I will be carrying. To do what’s right for me and to stop worrying about others who don’t worry about me.
After losing my little Angel I have become a different person, I lost trust in people and also lost love. I do hope it will all gain again but I do hope to find mostly love for the one person who should be giving me it.
Its never to late to keep dreaming and definitely never too late to stand up for your self. What ever is bond to happen in the future whether it is something I want or don’t want I am ready.